I am, for the most part, a somewhat emotionally stable person. Sure there have been bouts of PMS and random grumpiness in the past, but I like to think that I maintain a fairly level-headed existence. Even while pregnant, when my hormones are out of whack and doing strange things to grow a baby, I still feel like myself. Until this weekend, that is. I don’t know what was up, but I was a MESS. Perhaps it was the sweltering heat, the fatigue that comes with anemia (now that I know I’m anemic, I’m all, “I’m soooo tired….my blood has no irooooon!”), the official descent by our toddler into the Land of the Terrible Twos, marked by inexplicable tantrums and unjustified screaming, the fact that my hubby is working about 67 hours a day, the incident where Avelyn birthed a massive log in the tub and when she hopped out of the bathtub she slipped on the floor and bashed her chin on the edge of the toilet, thus splitting her chin open and soaking the floor with blood, the messy house I can’t seem to keep up with, or the cruel scale that tells me I’ve gained another two pounds and I’m pretty sure they have been added to my rippled thighs.
I had a few good cries over the course of the weekend and am feeling a little better today. I just hate it when I feel so terrible and I take it out on the people around me, the ones I love the most. And I also hate that it’s so easy to focus on the negatives when, really, I am ridiculously privileged to be living the life I am. There are millions of people wondering if they’ll get a next meal and here I am, griping about poop in the tub and cellulite.
I’m going to be fine. More than fine, actually. It just might take a day or two.
18 Comments
I just stopped by to look at your blog, I can’t believe how pregnant you’re looking, I haven’t looked since we saw you at New Years, you look great!!! We found out a couple of weeks after we last saw you we’re expecting too, our baby is due end of September and we’re pretty excited!!! I’ve also felt pretty confident about my control over my emotions, till this heat arrived, and trebbled the intensity of the Main Hall kitchen, and then a dish broke…..that’s about the time I go in the back pantry and stick my head in a freezer for a bit. Anyway, just wanted to say Hi, I enjoyed reading all the name suggestions you were offered, there’s some pretty cute ones out there for girls, we just don’t have a clue what to name ors if it’s a boy. I have a couple of less common ones my brothers have used for their girls I can add to the suggestion bank. I have neices called Halandra Cleaona (Hally for short) Emilia Jordan (Emi or Emi Jo) and Geneva Grace (who gets called Evie.) Hope you have a better day!
OH seriously, I wish you knew how closely you hit home with this post. I had the same weekend… minus the poop in the tub. But there was a tub situation involving someone dumping several large buckets of water onto the bathroom floor over the course of the two seconds it took me to put on my pj’s about three feet away. I thought he was pouring it back into the tub. And cleaning up the floor with this big of a belly just plain sucks. Ok, so yeah, I’m right there with you with the hormones, terrible two’s, prego and tired (due to thyroid instead of anemia), and a hubs who works 70 hour work weeks. Oh yeah, and our house is on the market. I just keep telling myself it could be worse. Right? Ug. Hang in there:)
Aw…a good cry always helps.
So does a play date at the water park with one of your awesome friends (That would be me). I’m calling you RIGHT NOW.
Oh sweetie, I’m sorry you had such a rough time.It seems it.s not just one thing, but multiple things that happen when you feel the most vulnerable. Just get through it–I,m telling myself the same thing.
Just wanted to send you cool, peaceful vibes. Happy Canada Day!
Aw man. I hate that when you just feel like bawling your guts out for days on end.
I’m pretty sure you are at work, otherwise I’d call and brighten your day with my wit, stories of Abby eating brown sugar in her room and how I’m pretty sure I’m getting kankles.
Hang in there! You are loved and fortunate indeed!
I was emotional and grumpy (nasty grumpy) at the end of my pregnancy with Paige (July 15th). 23-month-old Makenna was being difficult, AND!! smearing poop in her crib. It was awesome.
I swear, within a half hour of Paige’s birth, I felt better. Physically better. I was cheery. I can’t even describe it. I hope the same happens for you! ;)
Awww. I want to give you a hug. It’s nice to know I’m not the only who has days like that.
I love you. So much!
I will miss you SO much!
Now I’m gonna go have my own breakdown.
Oh those days suck! I have several that sound alot like yours. Have a good bawl fest, then go chill by the beach! Hope you’re felling better.
I’m fairly certain I’ve not heard of a worse bath-time experience. Seriously.
Take care of yourself and throw that darn scale in the tub with the log.
xo
Sounds kind of “crappy!” (No pun intended!) Hope this week goes better for you and that Avelyn is a perfect, little angel! (I can see your eyes rolling!)
I think the husband working 67 hours a day may have a little something to do with it. I had a similar weekend, but didn’t have the guts to step on a scale. Hopefully the poop stays/goes where it belongs this week!
ahhhhhhhhh! ok i know this is a serious post but the thought of a log being birthed in a tub is HILARIOUS!!!!! that is so tough tho….the spill and split chin. oh man.
Well, on the one hand, you sound like a royal pain in the ass. But at least you’re big enough to own up to it.
It’s totally cool to cry over that stuff. It probably helped stifle the urge to just up and leave. (At least, it can for me.)
I think you almost made me cry with this one. I am hurting for you Amanda. That was so me just a few months ago. In a weird way it has been easier having Bennett out than in. The pregnancy and huge belly are just rough…ROUGH! I am brainstorming something ultra fun to cheer you up. So wish I had the finances to fly out for a visit. I would sing and dance for you…which would be very funny!
[…] Canada Day Long Weep-End Perhaps it was the sweltering heat, the fatigue that comes with anemia (now that I know I’m anemic, I’m all, “I’m soooo tired….my blood has no irooooon!â€), the official descent by our toddler into the Land of the Terrible Twos, … […]
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