Friends Are Swell

Not Ready

Last night I was sitting on a patio by the lake, the sun was half-way set behind the mountains, the lake was placid and gleaming, there was a musician strumming his way through a Counting Crows song, a plate of delicious food was before me, I was surrounded by a dozen beautiful friends, the baby in my belly was rolling around my insides, the restaurant was bursting with conversations, people were laughing and sipping their cool drinks, and I sat across the table from a dear friend who will be moving away in a mere five days: bittersweetness at its finest.


(Photo taken by Angella.)

I am not ready to write this post. To say good-bye to Christy. My eyes well up with tears and I can feel my face contorting into the Ugly Cry even as I type these words.

For the past three years, I have seen Christy almost everyday. Our friendship began when she was a mother of two and I had yet to venture into the land of parenthood. Watching her with her children is what sparked my desire to have kids of my own. She was patient and her home was always a haven of rest and hospitality. I would have lunch at her house on my break from work everyday. She didn’t mind that I was always hungry and rustling through her cupboards to eat all of her roasted red pepper stoned wheat thin crackers and half a brick of her cheese. She listened to my struggles and shared her own, and we realized that we had fought many of the same battles and were able to encourage one another not to give up. When I got pregnant, she was overjoyed and answered all my questions about the strange things going on in my body. And she didn’t protest when I started to eat the whole box of crackers and entire bricks of her cheese. When I had Avelyn she came to hospital with a group of our friends and brought me trashy magazines and chocolate bars. Then she let me hang out at her house everyday and we played the Stay At Home Mom game together everyday, watching our kids grow and trying to figure out this thing called life. She has been my center for so long, the friend I turn to when I am ready to pull my hair out, the person I can trust my secrets with, the woman I admire and love.

When I went to pick up a jug of milk from the grocery store and it was only 9:30 in the morning and I was wondering how on earth I was going to keep Avelyn entertained for the rest of the day, we would go to Christy’s house and the hours would pass by, filled with fun and laughter. It was Avelyn’s second home and Christy didn’t mind that I was now also rooting through her pantry for crumbs for my rowdy toddler, as well as my own hungry belly.

Whenever we drove past Christy’s cul-de-sac and didn’t turn in to stop for a visit, Avelyn would cry. She is going to be crying a lot in the next few weeks.

And so will I.


  • Oh goodness, this is heartbreaking and beautiful. I hope the visits are many and the e-mails are frequent.

  • I’m not ready either. I may or may not be full of snot and tears right now.

  • Aw. I’m so sad for you all. Christy is a big piece of everyone’s heart out there. :(

  • It’s very sad to say good-bye to a dear friend. Beautiful post!

  • Oh man…blink blink…that was beautiful! I feel your heart Amanda. HOw awesome is God to give you the support you needed for so many years. Although it will be heartbreaking not to have Christy everyday physically, I have no doubt you guys will be BFF for life. I am so sorry you are going to have to jump out of the nest right now as you are preparing for your second one. Enjoy your last five days together. How far of a drive is it for you guys?

  • Your going to make me cry. I’m so sorry your special friend is moving away.

  • you guys are so lucky to have each other. hope you guys have an unlimited long distance phone plan!!!

  • I hate goodbyes too.

  • Ohh, I’ve been through this a couple of times- dear friends moving away- and it is SO HARD. I mean, I grieve. And yes, there’s email and phone calls and visits, but you loose the community that you’ve formed- the comradre of raising kids together and just BEING.

    It’s so so so hard. I’m not sure I ever completely recover. But slowly I’ve formed community with new people, and formed a working relationship with the friends that’ve moved away- we still see each other and we have a new normal now…

    Also? I require a 5 year warning on any new friends- a contract of sorts promising me they won’t be moving any time soon, and if they DO, I need ample warning… at least 5 years. =)

  • I know what Christy must be feeling. I know we were only in Regina for 8 short months, but when we were out there I feel like I met my soul mate as far as friends go. When we decided to move, my heart was breaking even more than when we went out there. I knew I would see my family again, but it is hard to know what will happen now with all my Regina friends. I miss Teena everyday. We saw each other almost everyday too and Kynan was always asking for Izzy and Maren. Even now, two months later, I still cry often. I feel like there is wound there that can be healed, but is doing it very slowly. This time will be hard, I won’t lie. And I won’t say time will heal because I am not sure it does. But know that there are still people here that love you, and this is an opportunity for you to meet someone new. I feel for you. Oh, yeah! Pray. Praying helps.

  • […] may be abandoning me, but at least I have the company of The Twins to console […]

  • Beautiful post, I’ve got tears in my eyes. It is soooo hard to say goodbye to friends. Thinking of you, and little Avelyn too!

  • It’s so wonderful to have a friend like her and I’m sure there will be plenty of reunion weekends. And a heck of a lot of e-mails and phone calls too :)

  • I’m so sad for you. I have a “Christy” friend and I would feel EXACTLY the way you described if she moved away. Devastated. I wish you lots of phone calls and reasons for your paths to cross often! :)

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