Toys are strewn all over the living room carpet (the same carpet that has been this week’s recipient of a half-dozen potty training attempts gone disturbingly wrong); there are no plans for dinner and nothing inspiring in the fridge; baby is napping, but for who knows how long; Avelyn has already had eight meltdowns today yet refuses to nap; it seems like all day, every day, someone is crying.
I am feeling it. The surge of post-partum adrenaline has worn off and I find myself with little patience. My voice is raised and strained more often then I’d like and I’m more focused on the things that are driving me CRAZY than on the great, happy, blessed parts of my days.
The days are long: Avelyn is up before seven o’clock every day and Jolie doesn’t go to bed until after ten o’clock at night. I am tired and feeling the strain that two kids put on my mind, my body, my marriage. This is hard. So worth it, but hard nonetheless. I know that we are in the throes of one of the most challenging stages right now, but it’s tough to squint hard enough to make out that teeny, tiny light at the end of the tunnel.
I know that we are blessed. And I love our kids and am so happy that they are in our lives. But man, they’re making me tired.
21 Comments
I feel your pain. I went to the doctor a month or so ago because I thought my birth control was making me crazy. Turns out I’m just really stressed out! Because I have 2 kids now! He gave me a prescription for Zoloft, but I’m afraid of the side effects & haven’t filled it.
I’m right there with you! Every day, I try to find the silver lining–no green boogers! I don’t have spit up in my hair! There is frozen pizza for dinner! Daddy will be home in XXX minutes! It’s all about the silver lining, of course sometimes I find the silver lining in the bottom of a wine glass. (but never before lunch)
I feel you, girl. I don’t know if I’d have made it without Rugrats and My So Called Life when I first became mother of 2. There were days when all three of us were crying. And somehow, we made it out of that tunnel. Now I have 6, and it only gets bad if I’m left with the 4 littles. Little kids are hard, man. But like you said, so worth it.
Oh man. I’m not there yet but I will be. You inspire me that it IS possible… hang in there and TRY has hard as you can to do small things just for YOU.
Sounds like an exhausting time. I don’t have children so I can’t relate to the exact things you are going through. I do however have a family (parents and a brother) and often reflect that the relationships one has with family members are often the most challenging and rewarding. I recently returned home as my father’s health is ailing and although there are many beautiful moments I often wonder how I will get through this, how I will survive without him. I suppose that’s the human nature; we can never be quite sure how to get through anything, we just do. It never hurts to draw support from others. I hope you find some peace and solace in the coming days.
sigh … I hear ya.
Thanks for being so honest and open. It’s a rarity and incredibly refreshing. You’re doing a great job.
Peace, Amanda.
They don’t really warn you about the exhaustion in those baby books and it’s so not accurately illustrated on TV. However, like you said, it is a phase. The tiredness is less (now that I’m past the baby phase with my 3rd) but now the attitude and fighting is a new challenge! Motherhood is rough…it does help to just admit it sometimes! Keep on hanging on!
You said it! Your portion in Heaven should be big!
By the way, Have you tried the potty doll?
I MY, do I hear you. I wrote this butterfly rainbow post the other day about how much I love life… and today I woke up even sicker, Jack’s diaper had leaked onto my bed (because he decided he needed to wake up at 6am) all the way through the mattress pad and all this after a night of three wake-up calls from Teddy. Now I feel like I want to is eat a chocolate cake and lay down and sleep for three months. This IS hard.
*HUGS*
Keep your chin up!! It’s a tough place to be in, especially in the middle of the potty training and the toddler melt-downs…but I have faith…you’ll make it!! One way or another…you’ll make it! :-)
I am right there with you, especially with the whole 2 year old no napping thing, it makes the day extra insane. There always seems to be one kiddo crying and only one kid will sleep at a time so nothing gets done. Two kids is tough, sometimes I wish I only had one, which one, I could never pick because I love them both.
I can’t even begin to imagine how tired you must be. I know I don’t know you personally but have enjoyed reading. I’m saying a prayer for you right now. : )
I found this post refreshing and comforting. It was good to know I’m not alone in feeling this way sometimes/often. I know I’m lucky/blessed/fortunate to have my two little girls (2 1/2 and 6 months) but boy or boy do they try my nerves and patience sometimes. It’s comforting to know other mothers go through these same emotions. I was beginning to think you were super mom with no bad days. But it appears you are human too. You are not alone in your feelings. Hope today was a good mommy day.
I only have one and it took a toll on our marriage during the first 6 months (she is 7 months old now). I’m now afraid to have two – even though I know we are going to have two eventually. Wish I could do something for you to make things easier. Cyber casserole anyone?
I so understand. There are days when I (shamefully) think “I am not enjoying this”.
The crying, screaming, and WHINING just wears a mama down!!
Hang in there. I’ve heard it is just a phase. :)
It is an exhausting job, but, like you said so worth it. I found going from one to two kids the hardest transition, but worthwhile enough to have two more :). Taking mini breaks throughout the day has been my saving grace. Speaking of which, my five minutes ‘connecting’ with adults is about over, better go wipe some bums! :)
Let me tell you, I feel your pain. Sometimes you just want to scream “I don’t want to be Mommy anymore!!”
My 4th child was almost impossible to potty train. The first 3 were a breeze compared to her. One day I got the bright idea to put a piece of colored paper with her name on the fridge and each time she went potty, she got to pick a star sticker to put on the paper. It worked great!! After awhile, waiting for her to decide on a sticker became the most challenging part of it all.
1. Hang in there!
2. Margarita Time.
(Not necessarily in that order.)
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