I like to joke with my friend Jen about how she’s my favourite hippie: she sees a naturopath regularly, doesn’t vaccinate her kids, spritzes lavender oil on all her pillowcases, and only uses organic toothpaste. I, on the other hand, see a physician, get my kids immunized against anything and everything, my favourite essential oil is Febreze, and I put Diet Coke on my toothbrush at night time. We are so different in so many ways, but she is one of my closest friends and also one person who I truly admire as an excellent mother. She is so full of wisdom and creativity when it comes to caring for her girls.Â
A little while ago we were chatting about all of my potty training woes with Avelyn and I was looking to her for advice. She, in all of her wisdom, had none. My situation was so dire that even Mother Superior had no ideas about how to get my crazy child to stop pooping in her underwear. Alas, I put out a call to the Internet and the advice came rolling in. As I read the comments, I sighed with despair that we had already tried most of the techniques, and with no success. Then, Jen’s mom left a comment. If Jen is a hippie, her mom is the first hippie, who paved the way for all hippies after her and wrote the book on how to be a proper one: she practices yoga, she has an organic garden, she homeschooled her children and she drizzles maple syrup on her goat’s milk yogurt. The one area that Jen and her mom disagree on, however, is their parenting philosophies. Jen’s mom, Michelle, swears by the concepts of a man called John Roseman of Traditional Parenting. She believes that a child should feel like a little fish in a big pond, and that is where she and Jen agree to disagree.Â
Anyways, Michelle left a comment on my potty training post with a link to an article by John Roseman and she claimed it would change my life. I must admit I scoffed when I saw she had written that, but thought I may as well read the link.Â
I read it. And you know what? It changed my life.
Although I didn’t agree with everything in the article, I implemented one of its main ideas: I put Avelyn in the bathroom and told her she couldn’t come out until she had pooped in the potty. (I know many of you will think this is extreme but we had tried everything else, she was being willful and defiant about pooping in her underwear, and I needed to find an effective way to motivate her.) I let her have books and snacks but told her she would not come out until she had done the deed. She cried, she kicked, she cried some more. But she stayed in there and after an hour and a half, she had pooped in the potty! We had a big party and she got a lollipop and it was so great! For the next couple days I had to tell her to stay in the bathroom until she had pooped, but it would usually only take 5 minutes or so until she did. Then she started going all by herself when she felt the urge, and it’s been over a week since she pooped in her underwear.Â
I hesistate to even type these words, for fear that my optimism will jinx our progress, but I think she’s 100% potty trained now!
I didn’t realize how much anxiety it had been causing me, especially when we were out in public and I was just waiting and wondering when she was going to soil herself and I would have to rinse out her underwear in the scummy shopping mall bathroom.Â
Now wherever we go, Avelyn declares to people she meets, “I poop in the potty! Now I can go to ballet!” I am loving this new, feces-free existance! Loving it! Now we can get on with the summer and enjoy the fun:
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Feces free existence? I can only dream. Our first night back home, Grandma’s stupid dog craps all over our laminate twice. I take the martyr’s course and do the cleanup while she (Grandma) sleeps blissfully. How was I to know that a scouring pad has some stupid soap in it that permanently discolours laminate? Welcome home. Does your life-changing website have any info on toilet training chihuahuas?
That is great!
I used to tell my youngest boy — you have to sit there until it falls out.
First off, that is a cute bathing suit you are wearing in that boat/raft thing! It is a suit right? or is it a top? CUTE!
Congrats on the potty training! I will definitely be remembering this in about a year when it’s time to start it!! :)
Yay, Avelyn. And yay, you! Enjoy!
Yay!!! Also LOVE your bathing suit:)
That’s so great!!! Congrats on the potty-pooping kid.
AWESOME!!! So happy that the poopie princess underwear experience is over. At least until Jolie starts potty training!
ps. Love the scooter photo.
Wonderful pictures!
I’m glad the potty-training is going well for you. I’m in the very slow process of potty-training my son, but I couldn’t leave him in the bathroom for an hour and a half. It would be a disaster area.
Yay I can comment! Now, please, PLEASE tell me – when you say you put her in the bathroom, do you mean you locked her in so she couldn’t get out? Gate it so she couldn’t get out? Did you stay in there with her?
It sounds like a CRAZY method, and I can’t believe it worked, but now I am considering it. Just don’t think I can actually lock my kid in a bathroom, she might get scared!
Hi, Cheney. No, I did not lock her in. I left the door open, even, but just told her that she couldn’t come out. She listened and made the best of it.
Aw, thanks Amanda for the accolades but as you said, it is Dr.Rosemond’s idea. Yeah Traditional Parenting!
that is great advice; must remember for when the time comes!
Longtime reader/lurker here–love the blog & our kids are only a day apart (my little boy turned 3 on 7/19).
Our newspaper publishes John’s column once a week and although I don’t agree with everything he says, I definitely find that he has some really good logical ideas. Very old school (but still loving!!!) style.
Yay Avelyn for making poops in the potty!!! Wiping a bum that’s been sitting on a potty is SO much better than wiping a butt that’s been sitting in a diaper (or pooped-in-panties as the case may be)!!!
I was wondering the same thing as Cheney … How did you keep her in and what would you (or the good doctor) do if she didn’t stay in. I’m amazed she stayed in for an hour and a half! And after saying all that … yay! And well done, both of you!
Yay! For both of you!
Don’t know if I could have lasted an hour and a half though…I would have been worried that I was traumatizing my kid into NEVER wanting to use the potty ever again.
glad to hear something that worked for you! happy summer
Woo hoo!
I had to stop in to say I totally just started using that same advice for my oh so stubborn almost 4 year old boy! He is totally fine with peeing in the potty no problems..but would hold onto his poop for like 2 or 3 days before secretly messing his pants. SO. I’ve started to tell him to sit on the potty and not get off until he makes poop. Every day. Woohoo! He’s doing it! Sweeettt..thanks!
Congrats on this wonderful news!
woohoo! That is awesome!! What a relief for you! Way to claim authority. Now here’s to Jolee training like a piece of cake!
Yay Avelyn!
YEAH! That is wonderful. So liberating!
You never realize how much of a hostage you were till it’s over.
[…] We’ve tried everything – reward charts, M&Ms, even the John Rosemond method that worked for Amanda’s daughter. The kid will not perform, and her newest trick is to hold it all day and fill her nighttime […]
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