I got a call from my doctor last week and she said, “I have the results from your ultrasound.”
OK, I thought. Strange that she’s calling at seven in the evening; I hope everything’s fine.
“Your baby looks fine and healthy. But I need to let you know that it had been a twin pregnancy.”
“There were two embryonic sacs present at the ultrasound, but one was very small and had no fetus in it anymore. It looks to have been lost around six weeks,” she explained. “They were fraternal twins.”
I was speechless. And at a loss for reaction. I was shocked, but since I had never grown attached to the knowledge or idea of twins, I can’t say I felt a deep sense of loss. It made sense, though: why I looked 4 months pregnant at 6 weeks, why I was so sick but then suddenly felt better at 10 weeks, why Avelyn, from day one, had been telling everyone that I had a girl AND a boy in my belly.
I feel like I want to speak of this baby who we’ll never meet and acknowledge just how different our family’s story would have been if he or she had made it to us. It would have been a crazy ride, but he or she would have been welcomed and loved through it all.