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Hit Me

Today, at about 1:36 in the afternoon, it hit me.

The stress of this unrelenting summer, the 13 weeks of harried, scrambled childcare due to the teachers’  strike, the news updates on Ebola and the reminder that this whole wide world could get turned upside down any minute, the uncertainty of our direction as a family, the guilt I harbor for not having loved every minute of having my children biting my ankles for the past three months while I work too much, the absent husband who is toiling day and night to get the ripe apples off the trees.

It all hit me today and I kind of felt like falling over, like letting the current take me under and just maybe crying for a little while.

I rode the wave, though. Talked with some new and old friends while our children ran up and down their hillside and felt like it might all be OK.

There is so much to be thankful for, so much to be afraid of, so much to wonder about. Crazy, wild life, this one.

BigMouth

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Angella - Love you, friend.

Jen Wilson - I am SO with you on the guilt of not enjoying every minute of the break. Because aren’t fighting children FUN‽

Family Camp 2014

For the past six years we have been loading up our kids to Green Bay camp for our church’s family camp and it was every bit as fun, exhausting, dirty, hilarious, and wonderful as it’s ever been this summer.

Face painting, tubing, swimming, games, campfires, silly songs, talent show. This year Brinley burped the alphabet at the talent show and it is one of my proudest parenting moments to date.

Toddlers at the skate park, delicious food we didn’t have to cook or clean up afterwards, sunshine, hanging out.

Creaky bunk beds, creaky backs, overtired children, dirty faces, pop for breakfast.

New friends, old friends.

Good times all around. Yay for Family Camp!

Angella - SUCH a great weekend. So happy for all of the Amanda time I got. :)

Four? I CAN’T.

As much as I am relieved to have somehow survived the sleepless night and relentless challenges of caring for infants, it is somewhat bittersweet to see my last baby turn four years old and then HOP ON A SKATEBOARD.

Happy Birthday, Brinley Anna. You are a delight, a wonder, a menace, and a beauty. We love you always.

Angella - I cannot believe that she’s FOUR. Love you, Brin!

I Was Grumpy Today

I was a bear today. Growly, bristly and short-tempered, for no good reason. I hate days like that.

After a burnt dinner, I scowled and put the dishes away, tidying up the relentless mess and feeling worn. Then the evening light grew warm, I chilled out a bit and The Grump lifted, almost magically. Steve had to run an errand and took Karenna out with him; it’s amazing the way the dynamics shift when just one child is removed from the situation. I grabbed my camera and started snapping some photos of Avelyn and Brin in the orchard and it was just what I needed to take a deep breath, see the beauty around me and just soak it up.

I turn 32 tomorrow. If I make it to 96, I’m one-third through this life. HOLY COW, man.