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Four? I CAN’T.

As much as I am relieved to have somehow survived the sleepless night and relentless challenges of caring for infants, it is somewhat bittersweet to see my last baby turn four years old and then HOP ON A SKATEBOARD.

Happy Birthday, Brinley Anna. You are a delight, a wonder, a menace, and a beauty. We love you always.

Angella - I cannot believe that she’s FOUR. Love you, Brin!

I Was Grumpy Today

I was a bear today. Growly, bristly and short-tempered, for no good reason. I hate days like that.

After a burnt dinner, I scowled and put the dishes away, tidying up the relentless mess and feeling worn. Then the evening light grew warm, I chilled out a bit and The Grump lifted, almost magically. Steve had to run an errand and took Karenna out with him; it’s amazing the way the dynamics shift when just one child is removed from the situation. I grabbed my camera and started snapping some photos of Avelyn and Brin in the orchard and it was just what I needed to take a deep breath, see the beauty around me and just soak it up.

I turn 32 tomorrow. If I make it to 96, I’m one-third through this life. HOLY COW, man.

 

I Hope You Jump

Every time we’re at the beach, she looks at me with her big, round hazel eyes and asks if I will jump off the dock with her.

And I say yes whenever I can.

She’s been at camp this whole past week and I miss her. See you tomorrow, Ave!

Jen Wilson - You’re my hero. (That sounds sarcastic, but it is not. You’re a rad mom.) :)

Lisa - Absolutely love this. So beautiful, Amanda.

Andrea @ Mama in the City - That is awesome!

In Summer

In exchange for that single moment of elation after I put the dinner dishes away and don’t have to immediately yank the lunch fixings out of the fridge to assemble school meals for the next day, comes the starkness of ten weeks with all three girls at home all day, every day. Yes, there are magical moments at the beach, or when we read stories together at bedtime, but there is also a whole lot of FIGHTING and beating each other up and screaming and did I mention the FIGHTING?!

Oh, the fighting.

Summer holidays, you are a complicated mistress. High-maintenance, yet seductively beautiful at times.

Being home with the kids over summer “break” tosses me back into vivid memories of those days when they were all so little and crazy and they still crapped their pants and I hadn’t slept in six years. Good times. The guilt of not enjoying every moment sweeps over me and I fight thoughts like, “We could all be having a lot more fun if they weren’t acting like such TURDS.”

This is summer, man.

Add to the mix an exceptionally busy farmer husband and my unpredictable real estate schedule and the days are a tad harried.

This life: it’s great, it’s hard, it’s exhausting, and it’s ours.

I am thankful.

(But we REALLY would be having a lot more fun if the kids weren’t acting like such TURDS.)

 

 

Danica - I’m lucky that I am not working this summer. And yet, I also miss the routine of the school year. Don’t worry. It’ll be September before you know it. And by September, I mean, the unknown end of the teacher’s strike.

She Is Eight Years Old.

I am not really sure how this happened, but my baby is eight today.

This time, eight years ago, I was propped up in a hospital bed, exhausted from a 40 hour labour, dumbfounded by the love I knew for the tiny girl in my arms, and it also kind of felt like I had been hit by a bus.

Avelyn has transformed into this wondrous child: full of laughter and hilarity, still prone to the same melodramatic tendencies she’s battled since toddlerhood, a tender, kind girl who loves animals and art and being with friends. She is beautiful and smart and we love her more than she’ll ever know.

Happy Birthday, Avi!

Andrea @ Mama in the City - I always love how as mothers we can reflect so intensely on the day our babies were born, even years later! Also, who is this girl??!! I guess I haven’t seen a photo of her in awhile and was surprised at how…mature she looks! Happiest birthday wishes!

Hettie - I am a very rare commenter on blogs I read, but this struck me as I’ve been reading your blog since the beginning and man on man 8 years goes by in a flash eh? She’s a beauty to say the least! Native Calgarian who’s currently living abroad. All the best to you, Steve & the girls!!