Updated to add: No, your eyes do not deceive you. That is a 12 litre jar of mayo sitting next to four pounds of crumbled bacon. I blame Costco.
“So, how was Avelyn today?” I asked the Super Nanny after my day at work.
“She was…” Adele paused to collect her words. “…Argumentative. And a little violent.
“This growth spurt has served me well. I can reach things off the counter tops now. Like this huge brick of cheese.”
“Back off. It’s mine. You already had your brick today.
Today Avelyn mastered the art of posing for the camera. She perched atop a present, smiled and cried, “Cheese!” while flashing the crotch of her threadbare tights.
I am not a puker. The only times I have thrown up in the past decade are when I got a concussion and while I was in labour. I have the stomach of a horse.