“It’s funny how those things that were part of defining us, at some point kinda faded away.”
(Taken from an email sent to me by a lifelong friend.)Â
I used to sing, I used to act, I used to, used to, used to.
Part of entering adulthood is the inevitable narrowing of one’s path. I sometimes kind of miss the ol’ years of high school where in a single day I would use a pottery wheel in art class, experiment with a ban saw in shop, sing in three different choirs, study Macbeth, learn how to write a sonnet, make fun of my obnoxious chemistry teacher, play Frenchy in Grease, and come home to a plate of freshly baked cookies my mom had just pulled from the oven.
I am very happy with where my path led. But there are days when I wish I was making a crooked mug on a pottery wheel instead of unloading the dishwasher, or rehearsing my lines for the next school play instead of scraping sticky banana off of the tile under the highchair, or passing notes friends in math class instead of wiping a mass of turd from a soggy nappy.
I’m just sayin’.
What do you wish you were doing?
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Just in case anyone says otherwise, having thoughts like this does not make you a bad mother or wife…we all do this and there’s nothing bad about it.
I suppose that if I could do anything I’d be getting paid to blog about stuff.
I wish i was in art class too..ahh i loved artclass..also, i remember fondly..the “i think he likes you..should i go talk to him?” type of highschool conversations..
Sleeping.
I kid!
Hanging out with you :)
Seriously, though? Having all the free time in the world to master the hobbies that I love, such as photography.
While also being the best Mom/wife/friend in the world.
I aim low.
What do I wish I was doing?
Most of the time I wish I was you (or a variation of you – you know… Me, but like you).
I’m with you, meet you in pottery class ;)
Years ago, I never would have believed that I risk getting peed on by monkeys on a daily basis, or go digging through anteater diarrhea for a fresh fecal sample… (And believe me, it gets worse!)
My job is not a glam as some think it might be, but at the end of the day, there is nothing I’d rather be doing. :) All the good parts are 100% worth it!
I love this post! It’s so true but I remember pining for the day when I was a ‘grown up’. Oh to go back to the days of simplicity, learning and being taken care of my our mommas. :)
I also am happy with where my life took me but I sometimes wish Jordan and I could have taken a few years to be world travellers before popping out the wee ones.
This made me feel sort of melancholy, but it also made me laugh! Especially the part about the turd ;) Little did I know until I had one, that it’s not the husbands, it’s the BABIES who are the ultimate “ball & chain!” Sometimes I just wish to be able to pick up my keys & purse and just leave the house and go somewhere without havin to lug a bazzillion things or make arrangements to have someone watch the baby, take him there, and then go do my thing! And I’ve only been a mom for 3 months, I’m already complaning :) Simple things, like going to get a hair cut. Thank goodness my husband is willing to watch him & let me go do the things I need to do, but still, it’s different, you know what I mean? :)
It’s funny cuz when you’re in high school, you can’t wait to get out and pursue your dreams. You think you’ll have more freedom, more time…etc etc. And now were locked in a prison full of laundry and poopy diapers. i wish I was at art school taking photography.
Sometimes.
Hi, I’ve never written in your blog before, but I read it all the time! I love reading this stuff. I have two kids – Jordan 2.5 years and Tennyson 6 months. Everyone in here is so right! We can’t wait to get away from our parents and be “grownups” and now we know what it really means to be a parent! I love my kids to pieces, being a mom is the best job in the world, but it would definitely be amazing to get up out of my chair, grab my keys and dash off somewhere without lugging about my baby and his amazing pile of stuff!
Hi, I’ve never posted, but I’ve been reading your blog for a while now. I have the same thoughts now and then. My husband left for Iraq 2 months ago (for the second time) and my son will be one on Saturday. Having a fussy kid and no Daddy to relieve me makes me long for the high school days. I used to dance, and that’s what I miss. So these days, I fill the hole with watching So You Think You Can Dance. *sigh*
So true! I wish I were writing for a fashion magazine in New York or living overseas somewhere doing the same.
I miss being spontaneous. The freedom of going somewhere without having to plan plan plan. I miss going out later than nine o’clock at night!
I was just having this conversation with someone earlier today! Now that I am finished school, I would go back any day – and even do the math homework! Grade 12 was pretty rough for me, (I spent many hours in the counselling office!) and sometimes I wish I could go back and try it again. I miss the feeling of security that the school routine brought.
Hi Amanda,
Oh your little one is so cute!!! She has grown so much!
Ok, I am going to give you young Mom’s a new outlook. I love reading your blog and the responses. I have been so busy that I haven’t been on here awhile. :)
I am 50 now. Sheesh can’t believe it. And my kids are 24 and 22. I am a mother, wife and grandmother and loving all of the above. I remember the days when my kids were wee ones like so many of you there. Yes, and the days of thinking just for awhile I would love to do the things I used to. Now, where I am at I long for the days I could hold my babies close and know they were safe. The days when “Mommy!!!” were the words that either stirred up the emotion of warm fuzzies or what has happened now. The days of dirty diapers, and piles of dishes and laundry because I played a few hours longer with my kids than the housework really allowed. I miss the days of sitting by their beds saying good night prayers and hearing them tell Jesus that they lost thier socks and mommy isn’t happy. I miss their little kisses and hands and hugs and tears. For now, they are adults. They still have kisses for me, and hands that bring love and of course the hugs and tears, but now I can’t fix them. I am just here to extend the love that is welled up inside of me that wishes I could pick them up and dust them off and kiss their owies away. I can do all the things I would like now, the time is there. Hang on to your hats ladies, these days go quickly and one day you can do all the things you dream of. You are so right to enjoy your days today, one day you will have to say good bye to your kids when they move out and you will be where I am … empty nest and filled hearts. I thank God each day he has bless my life with my two children, with my son in law and now my grandbaby and my husband at the door (sometimes it is still like having a kid with my husband and don’t you tell him I said that! haha) These responses and your post brought floods of memories for me and I wanted to share with you, one day you will stand were I am and know the longing for those things are not bad. They are good, they still stir those things in your life that made you fulfilled. Hang on to those dreams, you will need them when your kids grow up and leave home. Save them up, and plan… it is still good for Mommy to have dreams too. :)
Some people suggest that teachers teach because they cannot “do”. After reading your blog, I was reminded that I get to keep “doing” every day. As a high-school teacher, I’ve put Hitler on trial, I’ve baked cookies, I’ve explored Europe and I’ve continued with drama (as the director..) I guess I’m pretty luck to choose an adventurous career!
sleeping i wish i was sleeping
I’m really happy with where we are now, but if I could revisit any days it’d be our newly-wed lifestyle in Vancouver with sushi and beer and friends every week. We had it pretty sweet…
Dancing. I danced all through high school and I miss it, terribly. It kept me in incredible shape and it was something that gave me confidence. It made so much sense to me. I miss it a lot.
I also wish I was NAPPING which I did a lot of all through high school and college.
I wish I was in dance class twirling around the floor. I wish I was in my high school orchestra playing my violin. I wish I was buying clothes istead of paying bills. I wish I could drink like I was still 21.
I wish I could ride my bike through the nature preserve to the public swimming pool where I hung out with my best friends all summer long!
Jackie’s comment made me tear up. She’s right. My 2 little ones will be big soon enough. Thanks for the perspective.
What a great topic. Jackie’s response really put things into perspective for me as well. I love what I am doing now and wouldn’t trade it for the world, except I’d have more time to shower and get pedicures. I do struggle with the thought of what I’ll do once Charlie is in school. I think of money allows I’ll find some volunteer opportunities and really try to make a difference. I feel like I’ve been afforded so many opportunities in life I owe it to everyone to give something back.
I wish I was not back at work. That’s what I wish! But, right now I wish I was snuggling on the couch with my two little girls with my hubby close by. Those are the good times. But now they’re in bed and it would be quite rude of me to wake them up just to snuggle.
I’m not old enough to reply to this (also: delurking), but some of the things I miss about hs are my old ukrainian language classes and trips to fancy orthodox churches. I was too busy skipping school to go play in the arcade all day. I miss that too, but I wish I was still able to go back and get more out of those experiences.
In no particular order…
I wish I was sleeping, watching more movies, eating out more, spending more quality time with my husband, traveling more, working on furthering my career, going back to school, decorating my home, spending money on something other than diapers and kids clothes, reading some new books, focusing on making new friends, also working on preserving the friendships that I currently have and keep up with…
There is so much that I want to do… This list only touches the tip of my iceberg. But really, I love my life, there’s just so much that I’d love to be doing on top of it all. If only there were two of me, or more hours in the day… Gah…
I wish I were baking (and will be, but not soon enough). I wish I were *thinking*, not reacting (and I’ve started, but slowly, oh so slowly.) I wish I were lucky in love, with an amazingly wonderful wife and delightful daughter. Oh, wait, I’ve done that.
I wouldn’t want to go back to high school, unless I could go back with the self-confidence and knowledge I accumulated after graduation.
I wish I could make my daughters understand that growing up ain’t all it’s cracked up to be, and to enjoy being young.
I wish I had an oatmeal chocolate chip cookie that my mom used to make and a glass of milk.
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