Yesterday was one of those days when I felt like I really had my act together, like I wasn’t just a schlump on maternity leave watching free tv on the internet. By the time the morning had passed I had a pot roast simmering in the slowcooker, tidied the house, taken Avelyn and Rolo out for a walk, showered, blowdried and straightened my hair, made egg salad for lunch and patted myself on the back.
I go back and forth in my feelings about how I should spend my maternity leave. Part of me reasons, "Just play with your baby, relax, hang out, and eat bonbons while watching tv online…you’ll never have this time again, so enjoy it!" Then the other part of me, the guilt-inducing part says (sternly), "You need to vacuum every day. And scrub your tub more often. And start teaching your baby the alphabet and her Roman numerals. And you should start training for a marathon to banish that baby weight. You need to be contributing more and making the most of this time away from work."
I am torn. Anyone who knows me will clearly see which side I naturally am drawn to (the former). I like to enjoy my days and not let the soap scum dampen my mood. But then I see how hard my hubby is working these days, running around like a headless chicken trying to provide for us and he asks me what I did during the day and I can’t help but feel a little sheepish when all I can do is recount how many episodes of Ugly Betty I watched.
But then I also tell myself that it’s OK to watch a little bit of tv while Avelyn naps because it’s my only break in the day from being on call 24/7. This being a mom gig, it doesn’t let up and I am in it for the long haul. So maybe a little bit of tv is actually good for me if it helps me recharge and rest up for the next round of motherhood.
I don’t want to be a lazy bum, and I don’t think I am. I just know my tendencies and want to keep them in check, but also find the time to savour these sweet days with my girl and not miss her first steps since I’m too busy scrubbing the kitchen floor (not likely, but I’m just saying!).
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I feel your pain, or lack there of. I feel so lazy some days but then I Harrison has one of those days or those weeks and it all seems to even out. At least your husband (and mine) are finished at the end of the day…we must be ready for anything at any time – day OR night.
I know he works hard for his family, and I appreciate it but I’ll join you in trying to enjoy this time with our babes…they are only this little once and it goes by so fast (it already has!).
Knowing how much that little angel likes to be held & walked about when she’s awake, don’t feel guilty about having some ‘you’ time when she’s napping. She’s obviously happy, your hubbie is happy & well fed…he’s not one to sit still anyway! You can clean house when they’re all grown & gone…well maybe don’t wait that long, but I always feel comfortable when we’re there & never notice any unruly dust bunnies! You’re doing a great job, keep it up!
An exerpt from my favorite poem these days: ;)
The cleaning and scrubbing will wait till tomorrow,
for children grow up, as I’ve learned to my sorrow.
So quiet down, cobwebs. Dust go to sleep.
I’m rocking my baby and babies don’t keep.
http://home.earthlink.net/~tnk/inspirational/babiesdontkeep.html
Keep havin’ fun with your sweet little baby! :)
cleaning (beyond basic household hygiene) really is a waste of time – spend your mat leave enjoying Avelyn (and not stressing about teaching her too early – kids will learn without structure at this age).
I have delusions that when I have a baby to stay home with I’ll be all over the cooking and cleaning and organizing and working out and whatnot. Something tells me that’s not how it’s going to happen in reality…
One Word: Balance.
I pick watching t.v, eating candy and playing peek-a-boo.
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