While leafing through a health products catalogue, I came across an ad for some miracle fat-burning supplement. The page was laced with testimonials from satisfied customers, along with their Before and After photographs. I was surprised at how many of the After shots held images of women who looked just like I do now, but they were striking confident poses and smiling the smiles of success. I found that intriguing, since the weight I find myself at right now is something that I would consider a Before weight, not an After. I am pleased with how I’ve lost the majority of my post-partum weight, but if the truth be known, my pre-pregnancy weight was nowhere near I wish it was.
Seeing pictures of women whose bodies were shaped like mine and were considering it a success made me stop and think about how powerful perspective is.
This really isn’t a "I’m going to talk about my body image insecurities so that throngs of readers will leave shiny, happy comments about how good I look" post. I am just thinking through some things about my body, how I want to feed it, and what kind of example I want to set for my daughter as she grows up.
Is it enough for my idea of Before to look like someone else’s After? Should I just quit my whining about the cellulite and jiggly bum and strike a proud pose like the ladies in the pictures for the Fat-Be-Gone Elixir? Or should I continue to try to firm up those soft spots and get back into my skinny jeans?
Thoughts?
16 Comments
Well, I think you should rock the body you have, certainly, because it’s lovely. However, that being said, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with wanting to look better & be healthier – I really don’t. I think sometimes we forget that there is an in-between – we can love our bodies and ourselves, but also want to improve them in a healthy way. If that makes sense. Which it doesn’t.
I guess what I’m saying is this: Just because you want to look and feel healthier, doesn’t mean you don’t love the body you have.
I’m using the universal you here.
My thoughts, since you asked… I think that is important to show others that you (meaning anyone) feel good in your body, whatever its form. Also, I think that it is important to model a healthy lifestyle that has balance. Our growing young ladies hear enough of the perspectives that guide them towards diet issues and excercise issues. I believe that it is important to have happy “After” shots of real people, because, after all, none of us are fake.
After years of constant dieting and binging, I decided to eat whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted. I found that not obsessing about what I was eating made me so much happier and healthier. And I didn’t even gain any weight.
I think you are beautiful, Amanda.
I think it’s important, especially as moms to girls, that we are an example of health and happiness. I think we should be exercising and eating well and that should be what our children see. As for feeling good about your body, I think as long as you are in the “healthy” BMI range we should just celebrate what we’ve got. Nothing wrong with wanting to drop 5 lbs or something like as that long as the weight is still considered healthy but dream of being stick thin are unrealistic and unhealthy- and give those same expectations to our girls.
There’s my 2 cents. :)
Jen said what I was trying to say. Thanks, Jen.
I think that the best example we can set for our girls is to be content. Not just happy. So if we’re going to be constantly talking about wanting to lose 5 lbs, then we’re not content, right? So for me I know that I’m not content and even if I don’t voice it my girls will pick up on it and I need to get to a place of contentment. I have no idea what the number on the scale will read, but when I get there I’ll know you know? For a long time I’ve been after a number but I looked back at the last time I weighed that number and realized the number isn’t what I want back it’s the feeling of content being me. If all that jobbeldy gook made sense, I’m a bit frazzled but I hear ya on working through it. It’s important as women to have our stuff figured out so we aren’t swayed by ads like you were talking about, but even more so once we have children who will be emulating us as well. I too think you look great, but I know that wont be anything until you feel content! Good luck on your journey!
I can’t say it much better than everyone else. If you are eating well and exercising, your body will find its healthy weight. I will add, however, that you are HOT! That dress on Friday made you look SMASHING!
:)
I’m with Angella: The best goal should be to be healthy, and healthy comes in all shapes and sizes.
This has been my OBSESSION over the last several months (even considered a similar post with my own before and after shots) as I, three years later have FINALLY lost my baby weight (I gained over 65lbs!!!). The only thing is- the scale says exactly what I want it to say, but I still don’t look “back to normal”.
I jiggle a lot more in places I wasn’t aware exisited and I’m often found comparing myself to people like my sister, who lost their baby weight on the way out of the delivery room. But WHO CARES!!! I’m happy just feeling comfortable with my body. (I often thought over the last few years that I had the opposite of anorexia- where you think you’re skinny, but you’re really not!)
Anyway, it was all about changing my lifestyle and deciding if losing some weight would make me happier. It didn’t. Not really. I’m just broke because I had to buy all new clothes!
Amanda, you ARE beautiful and it shows by your amazing sense of humour, love for your daughter and great perspective on life.
That’s true beauty!
I’ve always ignored the food part of being healthy. Now however, I HAVE to change my diet. I makes me realise that I should have paid more attention to it earlier. However, I think body image is totally separate from this. One physical, one mental. Hope I make sense. :)
I have always had issues with my body image but after having three awesome kids everything has changed. I have lines, lumps and bumps in places I never knew I could. It has been hard to come to terms with the changes.
I find that if I diet it just makes me more obsessed with food and I end up binging. So now I don’t diet but I do try and watch what I eat and try not to eat past 7. But if I want cake I still have some just not half of it. I try and exercise 3 or more times a week, walking is great but I find I have to really sweat to make a difference. I still hate doing it but it is something I just have to do and I always feel great after.
I have tried diet pills and I got really sick, they made me hyper making my heart palpitate and I got nose bleeds. Not fun.
Now that I am over 30 my body is different and I’m trying to love it for what it is. Every day is a new day and a new start I try to not be so hard on myself. Tomorrow I can burn off that pint of ice cream.
check out this website…it is enlightening!!!
http://theshapeofamother.com
For me it’s all about using my body to do stuff, running, walking, pilates, pretending Duncan’s an airplane … the more I use my body, the more I respect it for what it can do rather than focusing on my cellulite (which I have plenty of). It seems like a better way to think…
I actually have a blog post started about this – we’re given so many opportunities to feel bad about our bodies, and we seem to take advantage of all of them. Why?
xo!
You have such articulate readers. I agree with loving what you’ve got, and living a healthy lifestyle. We have girls. And they lookup to us. They need to know that we love ourselves, so they can learn from us!
Even though I probably weighed 30 pounds less in highschool, I am more confident now than I was then. I think it all has to do with feeling healthy and then a whole lot to do with maturity. Maybe being skinny would be nice for once, but would it be as much fun??
I probably will never know ;)
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