She can hold her own bottle now. That may not sound like much of a feat, but I can’t help but marvel as her chubby fingers with dimpled knuckles curve around the sides of the bottle and she draws it to her gaping mouth to drink herself to sleep. She couldn’t do it last week, and now she can. Just like someday she’ll be walking and talking and throwing tantrums and learning the alphabet and sleeping in a big bed and getting her first visit from Aunt Flo and dating boys, and I won’t be able to remember what it was like before all those things.
MY BABY! Where did she go?!
(I am either PMSing or pregnant [desperately hoping for the former] because I have been feeling all pensive and kind of grey and sad and angsty and mopey and irritable. Lucky Steve.)
I am in complete denial about my maternity leave ending. I want to stay in Happy Land, where the goverment sends me a bit of cash so I can stay home and play with my girl and take her for walks in the buggy and be there when she tastes cottage cheese for the first time (she hated it!).
I just need to invent some sort of million dollar idea that will have me rolling in dough and telling my maid that she missed a spot on the kitchen floor. One thing I have always thought would be a worthwhile addition to women’s health is, um, how do I say this gently?
A crotch vac.
Wait! Don’t close that browser! Allow me to explain!
Ladies, we all know that periods suck. Some have it worse than others but all in all, it’s a pretty gross 5-7 days. But what if I told you it could be a gross 5-7 MINUTES? Once your cycle begins you excuse yourself, go and sit on the Vaguum 3000 and have the full extent of your uterine lining sucked out of you in a quick, clean and orderly manner.
I really should contact the patent office ASAP.
13 Comments
I…um….huh
Something tells me the “crotch vac” idea isn’t going to take off.
Ya…that’s weird.
But i love ya anyways :)
I think you’re on to something!!! hahaha
Sign me up! I’ll buy one :)
I can’t believe she’s holding her bottle! Crazy :)
I would not be able to support you in that. Sorry. Keep thinking I’m sure you’ll come up with something that couldn’t be a punch line in a Will Ferrell movie soon enough! And the cool firsts don’t end when you go back to work. They just get even more special cuz you’re fully involved in making the limited time you have quality time.
HAHAHAHA….great invention..lol…ill take one…crotch vac..love the name…i needed a good laugh today
What a big girl! That sounds pretty gross but if it alleviates the pain and stress… Let us know how that pans out, and the moodiness… feel better soon!
oh I would SO BUY one of those… TOTALLY.
That is definitely an interesting idea…very creative. How would you advertise one of those suckers (pun intended)?
I’ve always thought about one of those!! that would be AMAZING
Vaguum 3000? Hahahaha!That is brilliant.
Wow, you have a very creative imagination!
YOU ARE A GENIUS.
I’ll take one. IMMEDIATELY.
Please Please Please …. and I mean Please.. let me be your partner. We could make millions! Love your idea and your site!
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